SO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

Back in work for the first time in two weeks. I was reasonably upbeat about my return and so am somewhat taken aback by how depressing this morning has been. It just feels so empty. A slight return.

Since the beginning of last year I've had three major holidays. I returned from Argentina in Feb 04 with the desire to leave the corporate world behind, from Eastern Europe in Jul 04 I resolved to give it a go and now, on my return from Croatia Aug 05, I resolve nothing. I am just here again. I neither love or loathe it but I remain thoroughly depressed by it. More depressing still is that I feel I can do little to improve matters and this in the face of the stark realisation that, relatively at least, I have a good deal.

In summary; a lot of emails. Those work related are mainly linked to a 2006 business plan that is perversely already defunct and obsolete even prior to the planning process itself meaning I missed nothing in my absence. I missed ten 7.5 hour per day periods of nothingness.

Of the non-work related there are emails about football matches been and gone and the increasingly chaotic shindig. I had one trivial voicemail message. The job I applied and interviewed for before I left may no longer exist. I engage in conversations with people I neither like nor dislike; an apathetic co-existence bound purely by mutually observed contractual terms.

This misery is short term, by the middle of next week I will be sufficiently anaethetised by the gentle clatter of hand upon keyboard that it will be as if I was never away.